I don’t think it’s ever too early to begin brainstorming possible memoir titles.  Here are twelve.

12. How to Eat a Banana and Not Look Gay:  Growing Up Straight But Sensitive

11. Mother, This Oatmeal Tastes Like a Whore’s Vomit: Rantings of an Ungrateful Boy 

10. I Told You I Was Sick: Diagnosed When It’s Already Too Late

9. I Can’t Remember Not Having Diarrhea: A Small Town Boy Moves to the Big City

8. The Great Cat Massacre and Other Childhood Drawings

7. Why Men Pull Away: My Journey To the World Tug-of-War Championship

6. I’m Sorry For Being Sorry:  Not Sorry Anymore

5. Red Rover Red Rover Send Someone to Chase Butterflies With Me Over: A Diary of Schoolyard Solitude

4. Take Off Those High Heels, Mommy Needs to Go to Work:  Born a Thespian

3. Take Off Those High Heels Because Daddy Says So: Becoming a Thespian Against All Odds

2. Daddy’s Going to the Store For Cigarettes: My Father’s Abandonment of My Family, My Hopes, and My Dreams

1. Get the Nurse: An Exegesis of My Father’s Last Words